Midnight till Morn Manila...

A lot of  things could really happen if you have an abnormal sleeping pattern..
It was 11:00 PM when I received a message from a friend asking for a meet up..

Good thing I just woke up when I got it.. So we decided to see each other right away..

Hey it's been a year!

I was browsing FB earlier when I saw my friend's (I wanted to consider him as something else but I don't know if it's still applicable) profile.. It was a post about him greeting his schoolmates' (I was about to say alma mater but I don't know if it's corect) graduation.. Then I just remembered that it was already a year ago when I was the one greeting him the same.. It's been a year since we had that very special (well for me at least it was) bonding thru text. Then I remembered to check the sites again that I used to open when I needed to express my feelings for him.. I don't know what to say.. I'm just happy to see my blogs again.. The same way I feel when I saw the profile today.. :)

By the way these random pics were taken while I was having a stop-over at 7-11 on my way home last Tuesday..

STOP

Nakakapagod..


Yung tipong gusto mo nalang matulala pero pakiramdam mo, kahit gawin mo yun eh mapapagod ka parin at hindi titigil yung utak mo sa pag-iisip ng solusyon sa mga kung anu-ano mong problema..

Sabi nila masaya daw ang buhay estudyante.. Well yes.. I must say madalas oo..
But in my case, hindi ang isasagot..

Maging estudyante at mag-aral, oo masaya..
Maging estudyante, part-time worker, at magtrabaho kasabay ng pag-aaral, hindi..

Yung tipong gusto mo na tumigil kasi sobrang pagod na yung utak at katawan mo pero alam mo na kapag huminto ka sa isa eh masasayang lahat ng pinaghirapan mo.. Yung wala ka masisi sa kondisyon mo.. Ayaw mong sisihin ang sarili mo pero hindi  mo rin pwedeng sisihin ang mga magulang mo.. Ewan ko nalang kung gustuhin mo pa gumising.. Mahirap pala talaga ang tunay na maturity stage.. Lalo na kung biglaan..

Some Sundays..

"Kung hindi mo iaapreciate ang sarili mo, sino pa ang mag-aapreciate sa'yo?"

Sunday..

It wasn't as nice as it has been over the past few weeks..
Everytime we talk on this day kasi,
everything goes fine.. Masaya.. Walang stress.. I am happy..

Pero iba tong araw na to.. Should have made me happy but it didn't.. I was at the computer shop checking his posts when he texted me..

I can't remember the exact words.. But it goes something like; "LURX, ayan ka nanaman.. Minsan tuloy naiilang na ako sa'yo.."

Then I remembered my last text.. It was a response to his twitter post..

"Never forget what someone says to you when they are drunk because drunk words are sober thoughts."

Then I added; "Kung alam mo lang how much I wanted to tell you that I LOVE YOU when I was drunk last night.."

I got shocked.. Para akong binuhusan ng nagyeyelong tubig..
He said sorry after his first text.. He said he didn't intend to it.. But he had to..
Ganung naman talaga sya.. Too careful of his words.. Something na minahal ko rin sa kanya.. Ayaw nya kasing nakakasakit ng tao.. Lalo na pag friend nya..

Then I logged out and went home so I could reply to him..
I said I got his point.. And sorry for crossing the boundaries..

I never wanted to scare him away.. But I guess it already happened..
Masyado ata akong naging aggressive in expressing my feelings for him.. That I forgot he already has someone.. Someone that he loves..

His text was actually an eye-opener.. Oo nga naman.. Nakalimutan ko na may boyfriend sya and friendship is all that he can offer.. And that's something na ayoko talaga mawala..
Honestly, I realized na parang may mali na nga ata.. I'm getting lost.. I was losing my grasp of reality.. I being eaten by my hope..
Hindi nga naman tama na umasa ako.. Something that he already and continously warned me about..

Hindi ko naman talaga sigurado kung umasa ba ako or what..
Kasi alam ko naman na hindi magiging kami.. Kaya nga hindi ko tinutuloy na ligawan sya or ask him to love me back.. Dahil alam ko kung hanggang saan lang ako dapat.. Isang bagay na hindi ko dapat lampasan..

Minsan akala ko, nasa boundary parin ako.. Yun pala wala na..

Sa totoo lang, kulang pa nga yung mga text ko..
kung itetext ko kasi kung ano yung feelings ko, baka sumabog yung phone nya or sumabog yung nguso ko dahil kay BF nya..

Ewan ko ba.. Siguro nakakasakal parin talaga yung ugali ko..
Everytime na magtetext ako, I'm trying not be like a nagger or something.. I never demanded the same reply or even just a simple reply.. Gusto ko lang naman iexpress yung feelings ko.. I wanna show them that I care, that I'm always there, that somebody loves them.. Siguro at the far corner of my mind, gusto na magreply din sila.. siya..
Siguro nga I was just fooling my self.. Saying na I wasn't hoping na mahalin nya ako..
But for me, most of the time, I text the person kasi to let him know that I'm just a beep away.. To make him feel secured that he's not alone.. Well unfortunately, mas nagmukhang ata akong nanay.. Hahah!

Good thing that he was understanding.. Kahit papaano kasi pinapaintindi nya sakin yung mga bagay and he still takes some time to let me know where I should stand.. Hindi ko nga alam kung masakit lang ba talaga para sakin yung meaning nung sinabi nya, or if masakit talaga sya magsalita.. Hahah! I'm just kidding.. Maybe it's just because nagmamahal ako.. Kaya masakit para sakin lahat ng rejection na natatanggap ko.. But in fairness to him, he apologizes whenever he knows na nasasaktan ako.. A favor that I never asked him to do but he always does.. Kaya nga maswerte yung taong mahal nya.. Cause he knows how to take care of someone else's heart..

After he texted me kanina and was brought back to reality, I realized how much he loves him, I've thought I have to let him go and start anew.. But not because I wanted to..

Sabi ko nga kanina sa kanya, I guess I have to let him go cause he's not even mine to start with..
Tama naman.. That's one thing that he always reminded me about.. That I should not pursue because his heart is taken..

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I didn't really pursue to have him.. It's just that I wasn't successful in stopping my heart from falling deeper for him..

Then he asked me why should start anew when I knew from the start na friends lang naman kami..
Then I replied; "I know that.. It's just that it's hard when you feel that you've already found that someone that you wanna share your whole life with.." Which he answered with; "But it's harder if at the first, you know that the person has his someone, already spending the entirety of what they have. And you keep on pushing with what you believe in.."
Yun na ata yung isa sa pinakamasakit na salitang natanggap ko..
Reality bites.. In this case, kinain ako ni truth ng buong buo..
Again, he was right.. I knew it all along.. May mahal syang iba, at sya yung gusto nyang makasama habang buhay.. Hindi ko alam kung nasaktan ba ako dahil tama sya at tanga ako, or dahil gusto ko na sana, sana ako nalang yung taong yun..

I wasn't able to explain to him why It's hard and had to start anew..
That it's because I've unnoticeably built my world around him.. Na yung goals, vison, at mission ko sa buhay eh kasama sya at tungkol sa kanya.. Nakakatawa yung three words na yun,, GOAL, MISSION, VISION.. Parang sa school lang.. Kulang nalang ata eh LOGO at MOTTO..
Hindi ko na rin sinabi sa kanya dahil baka marindi lang sya at lalong mayamot..

At this point, iniisip ko parin kung isusulat ko ba to o hindi..

Nam: Shone, I have something to tell you. I like you very much. For three years, I had done everything — I changed because of you. I applied for classical dancing club, acted on a play, became a drum major, studied harder — it’s all because of you. *tears up* But now I know, the thing I should have done a long time ago is tell you that… I love you. *she gives him the rose, he accepts it. Nam reads the “Pin loves Shone” written on his shirt* …You and Pin? Since when? Shone: Just a week ago. Nam: You and Pin, you’re good together. I hope the best for you two. […] Shone: Nam, are you alright? Nam: *makes the ok-sign but walks away crying*

nakakarelate ako sa line na yan sa movie na "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".. Yan din kasi yung sakin.. Sya yung dahilan why I want to become a better person.. And though I've wanted it even before he came, it wasn't this good and I didn't want it this bad..
What I am right now and what I want to be and have ,is all for him..
Kung mas buo man yung mga pangarap ko, iyon ay dahil binuo ko yun habang iniisip sya.. Kaya mahirap para sakin ang tanggapin na hindi ko na sya pwedeng mahalin..

Pero kung hindi man talaga pwedeng maging kami kahit sa huli, okay lang.. I couldn't stop my feelings anyway.. It would stop if it's meant to be.. But if it's not, I'm sure I'll get the hang of this agony.. Hopefully..

But at the end of the day, I still love SUNDAY..
Okay na.. ( I guess) Hindi na sya annoyed.. And I hope he's no longer scared of me..

"Again, I'm sorry for what I did..
I promise I won't cross the line again..
Till there's already none..

So I'll try not to bug you for the next few days,

but,

1. I hope I'm still your virtual super friend..

2. Sana lang if you need someone to talk to, you WON'T hesitate to text/call me..

3. You promised to meet me after a year or after you came back from abroad (if you're still there by then). Kung kayo pa nun ni BF, then you could just bring him too..

4. PLEASE don't ask me to love someone else if I still love you after 6 months.. (I'm still not gonna bug you that much anyway)

5. I'm not (and I wasn't) pushing the idea of US. Cause I'm not asking you to love me HANGGANG kayo pa.. Cause that wasn't my point.. Sumobra lang talaga ako in expressing my feelings.. I'm sorry for being too inconsiderate whenever I cross the line..

6. I VALUE your happiness..

7. I greatly appreciate all your efforts in explaining things to me..

8. You are my friend.. And you will always be.. No matter what.."

Yan yung text ko sa kanya to end the day..
Then he said; "Copied.. No hard feelings.. swear.."

And the saved me from the hell of my worries..

So I am happy na ulit..
But I've gotta stop lingering..




I remembered yung line ng friend ko while we were having lunch.. She was having a problem kasi with her hubby.. Yung tipong magkasama sila pero para silang hindi mag-asawa, hindi magkagalit pero parang wala na yung feelings for each other..

She said she works not because she really needs to..
But because she wants to prepare for the worst..
She works cause she wants to have her own money so she wouldn't be useless without him..
She said their relationship was and is still on the rocks..
She used to be a very submissive and humble wife..
But she didn't get what she deserved.. She was looked down because of her humility.. And was taken for granted because of her submissiveness..
And then, there's one thing that she realized which keeps her strong till now..

"Kung hindi mo iaapreciate ang sarili mo, sino pa ang mag-aapreciate sa'yo? Kung hindi ka nila naaapreciate, wag mong kawawain yung sarili mo. You have to have a life.."

Tama.. A line that I am trying to hold on to and use as a will to keep up.. I have no choice but to use this line to help me accept the fate of my condition.. Especially now that I have to try to change my only inspiration..

Then responded to her; "You are strong not because you are independent.. But because you learned to love your self more and be fair to your self.."

I was about to end this when I remembered,,
I have to appreciate myself..
But he's the reason why I was able to do that,,
So paano na ngayon?

these are the pics that I tried to send him thru MMS to cheer him up one Monday morning.. Unfortunately, my phone wasn't able to send it that day and he wasn't able to open it when I was able to successfully send it a few days after..

Virtual Reality

VIRTUAL - Existing in the mind, especially as a product of the imagination. Used in literary criticism of a text.

Virtuality..

Dito lang ata sa bagay na to kami nagkaiba..
Sa halos lahat ng mga gusto at paniniwala eh parehas kami.. Maliban sa isang to..

Hindi sya naniniwala sa posibilidad ng ganung relasyon.. o kung naniniwala man syang merong ganun, eh hindi naman sya naniniwala na may seryoso o nagtatagal sa ganun.. Para sa kanya, hindi yon totoo.. "drawing" sabi nga nila..

Magkaiba kami.. Hindi sya naniniwala sa isang bagay na halos ituring ko nang mundo ko.. Isang mundo na kinabibilangan ko.. Isang mundo na para sakin ay buhay na buhay at hindi malayo sa katotohonan.. Isang mundong dati ko nang pinilit na iwanan..

Hindi naman sa kinukulong ko yung sarili ko sa isang mundo na kalokohan ang tingin ng iba.. Siguro naniniwala lang talaga ako na posible sya.. Na may seryoso at totoong pagmamahal na pwedeng magbunga sa loob non.. Naniniwala ako na hindi lahat nagtatagal sa ganung klase ng relasyon or cyber relationship.. Kasi alam ko, na yung mga totoong nagmahahal, hindi nakukuntento sa ganung klase ng mundo.. Dahil gumagawa sila ng paraan para makatawid sa kabila.. Sa mundong totoo and something that is beyond virtual.. Ang paniniwala ko kasi, sa kahit anung klase ng relasyon, nasa sa inyo kung magtatagal yun.. Depende kung gaano nyo pinahahalagahan yung relasyon at kung anong mga ginagawa nyo para ma-maintain yun.. Para sakin, walang problema sa long distance relationship.. Basta mahal nyo talaga ang isa't isa, magtatagal ka'yo.. Depende sa tiwala nyo sa isa't-isa at kung anung ginagawa nyo para kahit ma-cross yung boundaries of distance.. Kailangan strong kayo parehas..

Kaya siguro ganito ako.. Kasi hindi naman ako naniniwala na permanente ang cyberworld.. At alam ko na kung mahal ko yung tao, I could do everything so that virtuality would turn into reality..

For me, cyberworld is just the nursery where the seed of real friendship is planted.. Once it grows, you have to transfer it to a soil where it can continue it's growth and live its entire life..

Yun na siguro yung pinakamalapit na bagay na maihahalintulad ko sa mundong nagpapalakas sakin..
Hindi naman sa pinili ko dito.. Wala pa lang talaga akong kakayahan para hanapin yung taong kumokontrol sa laro ng mundo ko..

"A plan without an action is a dream.."

Isang quote na hindi ko maaala kung saan at paano ko nalaman..
Pero tama naman.. Walang pangarap ang magkakatotoo kung hindi ka gagawa ng paraan..

You are the sun

You are my life

And you're the last thing on my mind

Before I go to sleep at night

You're alwayz round

When I'm in need

When trouble's on my mind

You put my soul at ease

There is no one in this world

Who can love me like you do

So many reasons that I 

Wanna spend forever with you..

Nahihiya ako kanya.. Sobrang apektado kasi ako.. Pakiramdam ko OA yung reaction ko.. I felt like dumagdag pako sa mga nang istorbo sa kanya.. Hindi ko manlang naramdaman na hindi na sya okay.. Na kagaya ng lagi nyang ginagawa, eh he's trying his best to conceal it nalang.. Hindi ko naman kasi alam eh.. Wala naman kasi syang sinabi..

Ang dami kong gustong sabihin ulit sa kanya.. Mga bagay na gusto kong patunayan sa kanya.. Mga bagay na gusto ko din munang mapatunayan sa sarili ko bago ko sabihin sa kanya.. Nakakatawa.. Pero it took me a while to be in this stage where I'm at now.. And now, that I'm here, I'm trying to get back to where I used to be..
Funny, but somehow, I'm wishing that he would see me as that someone that he never thought of me..

"pwamis ko, when we grow older and when I'm already strong enough, I'll search for you.. And I'll play the KNIGHT for you.."

isang promise galing sa mga bata.. isang line na sinabi at pinangako ko rin sa kanya..

"but I don't want us to have a HAPPY ENDING.. cause I don't want our story to have an END.."

Heheh.. At kung sa JUST FRIENDS or MORE than that or sa kung saan man kami mag-end, eh okay lang..Basta wag syang mawawala.. I'll close the book, and take his character with me..

storm sun storm

The sun is up again..
After the cold and rainy weekend, maaliwalas na ulit yung paligid at bughaw na ulit ang langit.. Such a pleasant thing to think of.. But just when everything seems to turn perfect again, naghihintay lang pala yung isa pang bagyo para masira at mapa-dilim ulit yung paligid..

"It was  a battle that started since man was created..

The battle between will and reality..

A battle that causes the destruction of one's heart..

And the victory to the sad reality.."

Kung gaano kalamig yung mga nakakaraang araw, ganun din kalamig yung mga kilos ko..
Kulang yung makapal na damit at kumot para pigilan yung lamig na pumasok sa katawan ko at pasukin yung puso ko..

Parang nananadya ata talaga tong bagyo.. Nakikisabay pa sa buhay ko.. Bibigyan ka ng liwanag pagkatapos ng bagyo.. Tapos hindi ka pa natutuyo, alam mo na agad na may parating ulit na isa pang bagyo,. Mas malakas pa! Langit nga naman.. Mahilig magbiro..

Kagaya nga ng sabi nila, mapipili mo kung saan mo gusto sumakay at kung sino yung gusto mo tabihan, pero hindi mo mapipili kung sino yung mga taong gugustuhing tumabi sa'yo..

Kung tutuusin, hindi naman talaga kasalanan ng daan kung may dead end man sya.. Lalo na kung binalaan ka pero hindi ka sumunod..

"Remove your mask and drop your sword..

The game is over.. And victory is not yours.."

Okay narin siguro umulan ulit ng malakas..
Basta sana, kasabay ng pagpaktak nya,
lahat ng luha ko sumama na..

"Mahirap masaktan.. Pag wala kang karapatan.."

Cold Summer Nights

Head throbbing, heart pounding..

Weekend nanaman! Well, eto lang naman kasi talaga yung day of the week na nakakapagsulat ako due to my heavy schedule..

Ayun.. The whole week in the office was fine.. I was late for  5 mins last Thursday.. But aside from that, everything went well naman.,

BLANK

Yan yung utak ko ngayon.. Sa totoo lang, kanina ko pa iniisip kung ano ba talaga ita-type ko.. Nung nakaraan lang, hinihintay ko yung weekend kasi ang dami ko sasabihin.. Pero parang lahat yata sila lumipad na.. Speechless na talaga..

Nagugulahan ako sa mga nararamdaman ko.. Pero sigurado ako, siya yung dahilan kung bakit mas buo yung pangarap ko ngayon..

Kasama ng pagkasigurado ko sa mga bagay na gusto kong mangyari, ay ang pakiramdam na hindi kami para sa isa't isa.. Sa maraming dahilan, hindi kami bagay.. Hindi ako yung taong kakailanganin nya.. Hindi ako yung tipo ng tao na magugustuhan nya.. Yung tipo ng tao na maipagmamalaki nya.. Yung taong mamahalin nya.. Masakit pero yun yung narealize ko..

Pero dahil din sa mga bagay na yun, bigla akong nagbago.. Nakakatawa kasi for many years, never ko na naimagine yung sarili ko na maiksi ulit ang buhok.. Na nakapanglalaki..
At hindi halata kung kumilos.. In short, discreet..
Isang bagay na plano ko nung high school pero di ko natupad..
Ngayon bumalik na yung idea na yun..

Isa syang panibagong tao.. Na naging dahilan para gustuhin kong bumalik sa dating ako..

Ewan ko kung mahal ko ba talaga sya kaya ko to ginagawa or what..
Naguguluhan talaga ako kung ano ba tuloy yung gusto ko para sa sarili ko.. Nasanay na rin kasi ako na ganito ako.. Mas madalas halata kesa sa hindi.. Wala naman masama sa pagiging obvious or kahit sa pagiging effem pa.. Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung ano ba talaga ngayon yung gusto ko..

Rain falling on a summer day..

Just like how we are not used to rainfalls  during summer, ganun din yung pakiramdam pag wala sya.. Parang gusto kong isipin na hindi nangyayari..

I'm missing him.. Pero alam ko masaya naman sya dahil kasama nya yung taong mahal nya..

Weekend.. Sa totoo lang, maliban sa idea na makapagpapahinga ako, eh sya lang yung dahilan kung bakit excited ako na dumating yung tong araw na to..

For the first time, nahihirapan akong iexpress yung sarili ko..
Ewan ko kung bakit.. Kaya sa mga songs ko nalang sya idadaan..

"Jealous of the guy who caught your eye

One of my darker days

When you looked at her where was I?

Shoulda been in his place

Here I am

All alone imagining what might have been 

What could have been

If I had been there.."

Umuulan ng malakas.. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako or malulungkot.. Bukod kasi sa stargazing, eh ang maligo sa ulan ang isa sa mga pangarap kong gawin kasama ang taong mahal ko.. Para siguro sa iba, corny yun.. Pero para sakin, romantic yung tawag dun.. Sayang di ko ata magagawa yung mga yun kasama sya.. At napakarami pang bagay na gusto kong magawa..

Zzzzz..

Unfortunately, nakatulog nanaman ako habang nagtatype.. Mabuti hindi sumabog yung netbook ni tito.. Hahah!
Nakatulog ako nung siguro mga 4pm na.. then nagising ulit ako 9pm na ata.. Then I was watching Pilipinas Got Talent.. Suddenly, naalala ko sya.. Yung song kasi na kinanta nung isang band na contestant eh "breakeven" by The Script.. At sya kaagad ang pumasok sa isip ko.. Naging fave ko kasi yung band and song na yun dahil sa kanya.. :)
Then I remembered that I still have something to continue.. At eto yun.. heheh..

I was talking to a friend kanina before ako makatulog.. It was Rj, my friend from my previous company.. I just learned that one month na pala syang nakaleave.. Ayun.. Nagpagaling at nagpaganda pa ang hitad.. Hahah! Then I just remembered, almost three months na rin pala kaming magkakilala ng loLOVEs ko.. Nakakatuwa lang..

At eto.. Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi na namimiss ko na sya.. I just remembered the nights na nagpupuyat kami.. Hahah! Though late naman talaga ako lagi natutulog nun for no particular reason..

"Wherever you go,

Whatever you do,

I will be right here waiting for you.."

Hehe.. Old school.. Yan kasi yung tumutugtog sa PC.. Eh tama naman yung lyrics.. Ayun.. Sapul! Haha!

Mothers' Day nga pala ngayon.. Di manlang ako nakabili ng gift for my mom.. I'll try to give her nalang one this week.. Haaay.. I LOVE YOU MOM!

Back to my loLOVEs, mahal ko talaga yun.. Kaya nga kahit na mahirap gawin, eh tiniis kong wag syang itext.. Baka kasi kasama nya yung mahal nya..

"I wish you'd look at me that way 

Your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine 

Telling me more than any words could say 

But you don't even know I'm alive 

Baby, to you all I am is the invisible man 

Oh, you don't see me baby.."

Kagaya nga ng lagi kong sinasabi, maliban sa kanya, wala na ata akong maimagine na ibang tao na kayang makapagpabago sakin kagaya ng ginawa nya.. At bukod sa kanya, wala na akong ibang gustong makasama..

"I just wanna love you forevermore 

And I wanna hold you just like before 

And maybe someday we might just find a way 

And we can love forevermore.."

(Since it is Mothers' Day nga ngayon, eh  hindi ko naman natiis na wag syang itext and greet her mom for this special day.. as if naman mababasa ng mom nya.. Haha! And ayun.. I wasn't expecting pero nagreply sya.. It was just an acknowledgement of my text.. And a simple "how are u?" pero it means a lot to me na..)

"Is it okay if I call you mine?

Just for a time 

And I will be just fine 

If I know that you know that I'm 

Wanting , needing your love 

Oh 

If I ask of you is it all right 

If I ask you to hold me tight 

Through a cold, dark night 

'Cause there may be a cloudy day in sight 

And I need to let you know that I might 

Be needing your love 

Oh"

Mukhang kailangan ko na ata talaga magpack-up.. Kasalanan ko naman talaga.. He gave me a warning naman.. Simula palang, sinabi nya na sakin lahat.. Pero I spoiled the feeling.. I let it bloom and get deeper.. When I started to fall, I never reached the bottom.. I never stopped falling for him..
But I'm not regretting it.. And I never will..

"Boy you upset me.. And then you kiss my lips,
All of the sudden I forget, that I was upset.. Can't remember what you did.."

Para talagang syang roller coaster ride (ehem? haha!).. Pag andyan sya para akong lumulutang.. Pag wala naman sya, para parin akong lumulutang.. Pero nakatiwarik (inverted) haha! Darating din siguro yung time na matatanggap ko na he's not for me.. Pero kung hindi man yun darating or baka matagalan lang, eh ayos lang.. Masaya naman eh! Worth it yung ticket kahit 5-minute ride lang..

"The ride with you was worth the fall my friend..
Loving you makes life worth living.."

Ewan ko kung talgang sakto yung yung mga songs sa background para sa emotions ko, or kung talgang nirerelate ko lang silang lahat sakin.. Heheh!

"Close your eyes..
Dry your tears,
Cause when nothing, seems clear,
You'll be safe here.."

Yan yung last song na dinedicate or sinend ko sa kanya last night.. Yep! Nagkatext kami.. Big deal no? Hahaha! (for sure nagfrefreak out nanaman yun ngayon kung nababasa nya to..) Simpleng kamustahan lang.. Pero big deal talaga para sakin.. Hello?! Namiss ko kaya yun!! :)

"nababaliw na ako..
sa iyo.. ako ay litong-litong..
naloloka.. sa kaiisip sa'yo..
sa'yo.."

One of the songs na nagdedescribe sa akin..

OO na.. Crazy na.. Heheh..

Ako: Nababaliw na ako.. Sa iyo..
Ako ay litong-lito.. Naloloka.. Nahihibang..
Sa kaiisip sa'yo.. Sa'yo..

Sya: Huh! Adka! Nababaliw talaga?

Hahah! Di ko na maalala yung exact na conversation.. Pero parang ganun din yun..
Ang ganda ng sagot nya diba? Toinx! Haha! Funny lang..

Pero ewan ko.. Baliw nga ata talaga ako.. Dahil lang sa nagtext sya kagabi eh halos nahirapan ako matulog.. And worse, I couldn't stop smiling.. :)
He never fails to make me smile for no reason.. Well, there is a reason.. Yung text nya of course.. It's not that I really can't smile pag di sya nagtetext..
Pero mas totoo yung smile ko pag sya yung kausap ko.. Mas masarap sa pakiramdam.. Mas matagal at magical yung effect.. Swiiiiish! Cling ding! (magical sound effects.. Heheh..) Iba yung kilig.. Heheh.. Very high school.. :) Pero okay lang.. Wink! *_*

I LOVE SUNDAY!
Haha! Yan kasi madalas yung araw na nakakatext ko sya.. Haha.. Last night ng offdays ko.. Ayun.. Kumpleto na yung weekend ko.. :)

Nakakahiya kasi sabihin kaya idadaan ko nalang ulit sa song;

"you would always ask me,
Those words I say.. Keep telling me..
What it means to me..
Every single day.. You always ask this way..
For how many times I told you,
I LOVE YOU.. for this is all I know.."

So ayun.. That's the song that I kept on singing this week..

Ang daming kong tanong na hindi pa nasasagot..
Pero sa ngayon, I'll leave them behind..
Masaya na akong sigurado ako sa isang bagay..

Masaya ako.. Dahil sa kanya.. :)

May 09, 2011
7am