CROSSING

"Lumubog na ang ship.. Wag lang ang friendship.. "

hahah!! naalala ko yung pinaka-corny na motto sa slambook na nabasa ko.. galing sa kapatid kong parang ewan lang.. nonsense talaga pakinggan..

but then i realized, medyo tama naman yung quote na yun..
mawala man ang lahat, dapat yung friendship, maiwan.. kahit un lang..

ang hirap nung feeling na nawalan ka ng isang taong kakila.. na dati-rati eh nakakausap mo tungkol sa kung saan-saan.. everytime you're down, or pag masaya ka at gusto mong i-share yun..

napaka-babaw nung quote.. parang joke nga eh.. pero yun pala, somehow, may deeper meaning naman (well depende kung emo ka din talaga)..

something happened yesterday na talagang nagpalungkot sakin..
ewan ko lang kung alam nya na nasaktan ako sa nakita ko.. at hindi ko rin alam kung sinadya ba yun..

haaaay.. nakakatawa kasi iilang araw palang yung nagdaan pero parang isang taon na yung mga naexperience ko.. i found you.. we became somehow, friends.. and then i liked you.. then i loved you na pala before i even realized it.. tapos heto.. it seems i'm losing you na agad.. but just like what one of my favorite songs says,..

"can you tell me how could one miss what she's never had?
how could i reminisce when there is no past?"

haaay.. i don't want to miss you.. okay naman nako sa kung ano yung meron tayo dati eh.. kaya sana kahit yun manlang, maretain..

i really don't know how i could make you feel na i can be your very good friend.. i know you have a lot.. but i wanna be one of them.. one of those persons that makes you smile.. whom you run to everytime you're in need.. all i ever wanted is just to see you everyday na masaya.. dahil ayokong nalulungkot at nasasaktan ka.. i wanna make you feel na you're not alone and you'll never be.. na even when everybody else turn their back on you, all you have to do is look back.. and you would see me smiling at you.. (medyo may naalala lang ako sa line na yun.. haaay..)

i love your personality.. not your looks..
ewan ko ba.. kahit nga mukha kang mataray at masungit eh mahal parin kita.. well i can't really tell if it's to early para masabi ko yun..

sabi nga ng friend kong si RGM na kasalukuyan ding malungkot dahil sa isang napaka walang kwentang tao, eh,..
"okay lang na ipagpatuloy mo yan.. pero ingat ka lang cause you might just get hurt.."
then i replied;
"thanks! i know naman it would still lead to that eh.. i know i will just get hurt in the end.. but you know me..
sanay ako na lumaban para sa mga bagay na gusto ko at mahalaga sakin.. at kahit masaktan ako sa dulo, at least hindi nya masasabi na hindi ko sya minahal.. na hindi ako naging seryoso sa kanya.. that i'm just one of the ordinary people na nagkagusto sa kanya.. and at least masasabi ko sa kanya na minahal ko talaga sya.."

ewan ko ba.. kagaya nga ng sinabi ko sa info page ko dito sa fb,
i hate repetitions.. but when it comes to love,. no comment nalang..

ang hirap..
nandito nanaman kasi yung tanong na parang naging fave quote ko na ata; "HOLD ON pa? or MOVE ON na?"

gusto ko ipakita sa kanya kung gaano na sya kaimportante sakin ngayon.. pero hindi ko naman alam kung pinapalayo na ba talaga nya ako..

gusto kong malaman yung isang bagay pero takot naman akong masaktan..

ayokong ma-STRANDED.. pero ayoko rin naman syang IWAN..

gusto ko pang mahalin sya araw-araw.. pero hindi ko alam kung dapat ko pa bang ipagpatuloy..

hindi ko alam kung talagang mahirap to, or kung ako lang ba yung nagpapahirap sa sarili ko..

it seems like im in the center of the road.. i don't know whice path to choose.. either i'd get lost, or i'd get the easy way out.. life is indeed about taking risks.. you just have to be responsible enough of your decisions and be strong enough to take the consequences..
sabi nga ni miley cyrus; it's not about what's waiting on the other side.. it's the climb.."

to those people who were there yesterday when i needed you, thanks a lot!! i really appreciate it and i love you all.. ayt cheese?

+R.G.M., M.C.J., R.J.E. and R.M.L.. muah!!+

july 20 2010
10:08am