Sunday, May 1, 2011

EWAN KO..

Labor day..
One of busiest days for us..
Barangay Fiesta kasi..
Ayun.. We had to wake up early para makatulong sa paghahanda..
Funny kasi parang sa buong street namin, kami lang ata ang nagcecelebrate..
No choice eh.. May mga kaibigan/co-workers kasi si Mama na nakaguest list ata na automatic na na pumupunta yearly..
Which is also the same reason why we have to rent a videoke machine.. Feeling ata kasi nung mga bisita,
requirement sa fiesta ang videoke.. Hahah!

Ayun.. Di nako nag-invite ng friends kasi tinatamad akong mag-effort.. Heheh..

Anyways, it's been a tough and restless week for me..
Since Monday eh laging 4-5 hrs lang ata ang tulog ko..
I came late and had to stay late in the office nung first day to fill some forms..
Tapos nung Tuesday,di naman ako late.. But I still had to stay sa office aftershift dahil sa mga di ko na maalalang reasons.. Nung Wendesday naman, napakaridiculous nung transportation kasi I had to wait for more than 30 mins para sa jeep..
Then come Thursday na, I wasn't late na but I had to take a cab para umabot.. Then we had a fair pala..
So 30 mins before break, pinayagan kami nung trainer to go the fair for 45 mins pero included na dun yung break namin..
Kaso nadikitan ng cotton candy yung hair ko kaya we entered the room na 3 mins late.. Ayun.. Another corrective points nanaman.. At dahil nga stressed ako dahil may penalty nanaman ako, eh I forgot to leave my phone sa locker na.. Then my phone which was not in silent mode sunddenly rang habang nagdidiscuss so trainer.. So syempre I had to stand up and put  my phone in the locker.. At sa sobrang pagmamadali, I forgot to lock my PC.. Eh bawal yung.. So minus 100 nanaman sa team points namin.. So when she said that I left my PC unlocked, I ignored her nalang and went straight to my locker.. Ayun.. Sabi tuloy nung mga co-trainees ko, ang bitchy ko daw.. Tapos I had to go to BIR pa after shift kaya 3pm nako nakatulog..
Nung Friday naman, I had to wait till 2pm pa to get my first paycheck.. Tapos syempre we had to encash it pa..
So 5pm nakoh nakatulog.. Kaya ayun.. late nanaman ako that night..
I was so afraid nga kasi aabot na ng two points yung corrective action points ko.. Eh sabi pa naman ni trainier, pag daw umabot na ng two points yun, kahit makabenta ako pag nagsales na kami, eh di ako makakatanggap ng incentives..
Sobrang tahimik ko tuloy the whole shift.. Buti nalang pinalagpas nya yung pagiging late ko that day..

Pero di lang naman yun dahilan why I was silent..
Feeling ko kasi nag-iisa ako dahil parang di kumakampi sakin yung ibang co-trainees ko..
Tapos yung kaisa-isang bagay na nagpapsaya sakin, pakiramdam ko wala pa..
Honestly, di ko alam kung anung nangyari.. Kung natuloy man yung reconciliation nila, syempre magiging masaya naman ako..
Yun din naman kasi yung wish ko eh.. It so happened lang na di ko alam kung ano ba talaga.. Di kasi sya nagpararamdam..
Although isa na rin sigurong dahilan yung namimiss ko sya.. And I understand naman kasi di naman talaga nya responsibility na iupdate ako or whatever.. Nagtatampo lang din siguro ako kasi hindi nya pa kinukwento sakin kung ano yung nangyari nung last time na magkatext kami.. But somehow, I'm trying to understand.. Kasi yun din naman yung lagi ko sinasabi sa kanya.. Na I won't ask him for anything.. At kahit naman anong mangyari, eh sigurado akong di sya mawawala sakin.. Kasi parte na sya ng buhay ko..

Eto lang ata yung weekend na hindi ko sya nakausap.. Haha! Hindi ko maiwasang magselos kahit friends lang kami.. Feeling ko kasi one of the reasons kung bakit di sya makapagtext eh dahil kay BF nya.. Pero kung ganun nga, okay lang.. Gusto ko talagang maging masaya sya.. Sabi nga sa kanta ni KC C..

"Makita lang kitang masaya..
Para ring tayo na
Titigil na rin sa pagluha ang aking mga mata
Makita lang kitang masaya
Para ring tayo na
Tayo na..."

Ayun.. Nakakamiss lang.. :)

In the end, kahit anong mangyari, ganun parin yung feelings ko para sa kanya.. Mahal ko parin sya..
At masaya ako sa pakiramdam na yun..

"Happiness isn't always about getting the person you want or love.. Sometimes, it could be acquired by knowing that, that person is happy.. Even if it means not being with you.."

Soapdish-Ewan ko
Napapansin mo na yata
Nakakahiya naman
Gusto lang naman kitang pigilan

Chorus:
Napapalingon tuwing ika’y dumadaan
Napapangiti, hindi ko alam ang dahilan
Alam kong hindi pwepwedeng maging tayo
Pero minsan nag-iiba ang ikot ng, ang ikot ng mundo

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